Forgiveness

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How often have you been hurt or wronged in some way and hold onto that anger and resentment? It happens all the time and it can be detrimental to your health physically and mentally. A lot of times we don’t even realize a situation has affected us in an adverse way, but it the effects will show up in the form of irritation toward others, short temper, or even sickness. Those are all signs of discomfort and it’s up to us to figure out where it is coming from.

It can be hard to sort through our feelings and find the root of our discontent, so taking some quiet time to figure it all out is beneficial. Meditation, going for a peaceful walk, or talking with a friend can move us closer to a healing process. Find what works for you and start there. The idea is to figure out what is bothering you and move past it. Holding onto negative feelings is only hurting you.

Whether it’s you that has been hurt or you doing the hurting, we have to find a way to move past it. It can be hard to admit wrongdoing and owning up to our mistakes, but it can also be freeing. Not only will we feel relief, it can also help the person you have wronged reach forgiveness. We have all been in situations where we feel we have done nothing wrong and refuse to admit the wrongdoing, but there are always two sides to a story. The best thing we can do in these situations is look at the source of the problem and find a way to rectify it, rather than hold onto our pride and act like we are not at fault. It takes a lot of courage to admit when we are wrong, which will diffuse a situation rather than ignite it.

On the other hand, if you were the one that was hurt or wronged in some way, it can also be hard to get past because we tend to hold on to that feeling of betrayal and let it fester. This will only hurt you in the end. The idea is to let go and forgive. This does not mean you excuse the behavior of the other person, it means you make the choice to let go of what happened and move on, instead of holding on to the horrible feelings from the situation that are bringing you down. More often than not, you will not get an apology or a heartfelt conversation about what happened in order to move on. This is when you have to decide for yourself to forgive and let go, so you no longer harbor negative feelings and are able to move on in peace.

Pride has a way of showing up in most confrontational situations. We feel like we have to stand our ground and not give anyone the benefit of the doubt, but again, we are only hurting ourselves by being so stubborn. Why not try and look at both sides and understand what the other person may be feeling. We are all human and deal with things in very different ways. When we take the time to see another’s perspective, we might find that they are experiencing some of the same feelings we are, but express it in a way we are not used to, so it sets us off in a negative way. Finding a way to be compassionate rather than callous can diffuse a volatile situation. This takes time and practice, since every situation we find ourselves in changes, but in the long run it will help us find our way to inner peace.

It can be hard when a resolution is not met and you are at odds with another person, but if you can take responsibility for your part in the situation and not cast all the blame on the other person, you will be able to move on. That is the end goal, to let go and move on. Coming from a place of love will always give you the perspective and the peace of mind to live a balanced, fulfilling life. In that love is where forgiveness lives, which will free you from the unpleasantness of animosity toward others. Learning to forgive is a gift. Accept it and choose happiness.

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